a rendezvous between me and me

Sitting on bed , under a quilt..i am confused like always..should i pick up my diary or this blog to write what i want to now. But i choose this because i want to remember my this part of life always..journals get lost and forgotten gradually. I am undergoing a life changing phase in my life...not because i am sick on bed and  heartbroken. Life changing because i have learnt some hard lessons in a really hard way. Like some things are not under your control however hard you try you just can not control them. So, for such things you should always keep yourself prepared and not take them too hard..and feel the way  i am doing now. And yup the most important thing is that you need to know yourself. In this hustle and bustle i have clearly forgotten myself and what i want ..i was running behind life..the way it was coming to me. I forgot that if i lose its saddle..then i'l have to gallop behind it to get its control and it surely will be very painful. So,what i need to do is to control life the way i want to and not to let it control me. I just hope that i get to know myself better and come out as a better person from this turmoil i have placed myself in. But remember amidst all of this.. whatever happens happens for the best.!!!

The neighbourhood: A Little Princess

The neighbourhood: A Little Princess: A long lost tale, hidden inside . She walks pale, her eye on skies. The stories proven wrong, the faith shrunk. She did all, but lost chunk...

A Little Princess

A long lost tale,

hidden inside .

She walks pale,

her eye on skies.

The stories proven wrong,

the faith shrunk.

She did all,

but lost chunks.

Life was hard,

people said.

But this was the end,

she never pertained.

New life's roads,

and stories uncertain.

Let see where she rests,

or the tread never ends!!

.

Tale of 2 hearts...

Came and touched..
the chord benign.
He smiled,he..
now mine.

Chiseled from marble
each feature so fine..
how perfect,serene,he..
now mine.

My thoughts..his words.
my pain,he suffers..
I sulk,he cries,he..
now mine.

All my dreams,he desires
my nightmares,his despite
my umbrella,he..
now mine.

Love is all,love for life
my love
I am his,he..
now mine.

A woman at my gym!!

Well there are times when we meet people and they leave a deep impact on you. Sometimes because they have a very prominent personality, they are great achievers or sometimes because they have undergone  huge trials. I met one such woman in a gym i joined recently. She would be around 34, has a typical brown indian skin..in short any average woman you meet. She has a very fiery personality and is very confident. No one can  tell her to be  the  mother of a 17 year old son. Yup, she was married at the age of 15 to a man who was then of around 35..that is back then he was 20 years older to her. At the age of 16 she became pregnant and soon a mother. You cant expect a kid to take care of another kid, so the child was sent off to her elder sister . And till now her child has not been returned to her. Her aged husband soon grew a complex,he made her stop going out and fed her to such an  extent that she became fat,really fat..his explanation..now you like you are of my age.
After few years and lot of struggle she got hold of her life,gripped it with whatever fervour she had. She got herself educated, got a job and she even got herself into shape. All of it without the support of  anyone.
People around her instead of supporting her started throwing comments on her character, started building up stories with whatever detail they got. And surprisingly those people consisted most of women than men. I  could never understand why a woman never supports another woman, why they cant understand her psychology and problems when most of them go through the same trials..men never do that. They even support each other when they know the person in question is wrong. And a woman just smirks,throws some mud and then faces the same situation herself sometimes later.
But whatever hardships she faces daily she doesn't mind it. I tried discussing this with her  and she was like" if i start caring about what they say then i'l have to live a life like them. You can't get best of both the worlds. You either live a life of sacrifice and be pitied or a life you want and be scorned.".

So, for now that brave woman is having a job,living with her 55 year old husband(i don't know the chemistry they share but i am curious) and is looking forward to have a baby she can call her own. I wish before i leave i   get to hear this good news too. I wish all  love for a woman who fought for her happiness and achieved it.

Our little friends!!

I belong to a family crazy about animals. We had numerous pets in the past ranging from dogs,birds to rabbits. But at present my dear father has started a new way of petting these animals. He feeds all the animals and doesn't cage or chain them. Every morning he wakes up and put food and water for animals in the garden. And there comes the birds ranging from squirrels,pigeons to mynahs to more complicated ones whose exact names i really don't know. For me they are birds with red beak, the smallest bird i have ever seen or birds who chirps a lot. Even though i don't know them but they are a sight to watch. And they look more beautiful and happy when left on their own. Along with these birds the food also attracts squirrels..whose names we have kept as Chatter and eater. Because one makes lots of noise and the other one eats a lot. They are always in a fervy and are splendid fighters. They fight with the squirrels,the garden chameleon and even amongst each other. They are super cute and are my father's favorite. He has even come to know there favorite food items. And surprisingly instead of nuts they like to eat sweets more. It was really a surprise for me because i had always pictured them eating nuts like in the cartoons we watch.And after the squirrels our another most important guest is the chameleon. Whose only agenda is to claim the land. He doesn't like anyone else to even tread there even though i don't think he eats the food anytime. Its fun to see him running behind the squirrels and birds. If you imagine it right then he just looks like an old house guard shooing away the kids who come to pick mangoes from the garden. After the guard we have a mother mongoose and the kid mongoose and the Mrs cat and her rainbow kids who come there for a good stroll and something to eat.

All these animals,birds and even small insects have become an integral part of my family and that of my father's. He sits for hours watching them eat,pray and play. And there games truly make him happy. Who said that we need pets at home.We can even have a system where they live on there own and we get what we want, that's there innocence and company. So,now we don't have pets we have friends who come to visit us daily.

To ma Cherub!!

Spread on muslin
bend and bowed.
One hand on pillow
long legs toed.

Playing in dreams
fought and cried.
get all she wants
on the lips, smile tried.

Soft wind blows
curtain dance,it peeps.
her beauty shows
and my angel sleeps.

Smell of envy!!

Smoke wrapped around linen
Twists, turns the drape.
Dignity taken.

Rising like turbulence,
Speed, a drift, the head frozens.
parts the soul,causes rift.

Memories forsaken, blows thy trust.
Walks the nightmare

And i be a part of it.

The neighbourhood: Books, emotions,experience....

The neighbourhood: Books, emotions,experience....: "In my present a lot like sabbatical days i have decided to read as much as i can. Not because i am bored but because its been the only hobby..."

Books, emotions,experience....

In my present a lot like sabbatical days i have decided to read as much as i can. Not because i am bored but because its been the only hobby which has always stood by me. Even if i tried to avoid it, it came back to me regularly like a dear old friend.Sometimes in the form of an intelligent course book which was mandatory..due to studies or sometimes in the form of a light magazine. But it has been my long and most dear company.

Few days back i was surprised to read 2 books. Surprise is an important element because i have read a lot of books and almost all become similar at some point. One book was Wise and Unwise by Mrs Sudha Murthy and the other was Daddy by Danielle Steel. The first one had extraordinary simplicity but clarity of purpose. With the accounts written in a way in which anyone can relate himself. And it makes you travel to different genres of our society from tribal areas to urban high society and gives you a different outlook towards life. Its a collection of Mrs Murthy's life experiences but enriches the life of the reader. After reading it, i think now i respect the wife more than the husband.

The second book though a fiction made me cry at many junctures. The book has a vivid description of  emotions. It makes you feel what the character is going through. I can just wonder at the work and thought the author must have put to make her penned characters life like. And at some point if i think through i can even imagine her feeling the pain and undergoing the turmoil of her protagonist. Its so awe inspiring. 

I can only say one thing..hats off to all the writers who ever tread this earth. It takes hell lot of  discipline, hard work and effort to begin and finish a book. And thanks for all the good time i had and will have because you made that effort!!

Dreamland!!!

When i see across life. All i could see is a dreamy kid. Who dreamt even while eating.  There has been times when i wanted to be a reporter, a scientist ,a writer all at the same time. And everything seemed possible back then . The world seemed to be a long grassland to be conquered. Me a warrior whose purpose in life was to be the ruler of the world. How much i did believe in that!! And now all of it strikes back with a bolt!! Me lost in the daily small battles with myself. No compassion, no likes and dislikes. I feel as if i have lost myself. But maybe the realization of it will lead to a new beginning...no will take me back to the times..where i belonged!!!